A Letter to my Younger Self
Dear younger me,
It is surreal that I, a graduate of the United States Military Academy, am writing this letter to you, the person I used to be. Once an insecure and scared high school boy unsure of his purpose, to now a confident and driven young man rooted in his values and beliefs. The growth and development you will undergo will be unparalleled to anything you have experienced before. I hope you are as proud of me as I am of you. However, I would be lying to you if I said it was easy. The path you will soon embark on is challenging and, at times, lonely. Your relationships, values, and worth will be tested to an unprecedented level, but the lessons learned will make it worthwhile. I care about you - so please listen to what I have to say. I am not writing you a mantra or creed you must follow; I merely want to share some advice and lessons I have learned following these 47 months. I hope you take them to heart because ultimately, you are me, and I am you.
First, your self-worth is defined by you and only you. You have the autonomy to create the parameters, not others. Your worth is not based on your performance on the soccer field or classroom. It is not rooted in accomplishments, awards, or accolades. Your worth goes beyond these external measures. It is rooted in your personal qualities and impact on others. Internalize this message - you will struggle with this the most. Most of your time at the academy will be riddled with unhealthy expectations that will leave you unfulfilled. But, when you finally recognize this, you will be free. Free from error or criticism because you know who you are, and you know your worth.
Second, you will find a home away from home with the soccer program. Coaches, tactics, and formations will come and go, but your teammates will not. No tangible word can describe the connections and bonds you will build with your teammates. You will learn what it feels like to be accepted and loved for who you are, not for what you provide. You will play some games, and not play in others. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it’s okay. Through those trying times, you will learn the value of servant leadership and what it’s like to be a part of something bigger than yourself. I know you are worried about not fitting in or being liked, but this team will provide you with your best friends. And the memories you create with them will transcend time.
Third, the moment you stop thinking “me” and start thinking “we” is the culminating moment that your life will start to change. This perspective change will not come easily. But when it does, let it. This will give you the strength to push forward on your hardest days and fulfillment on your easiest. Never forget this. As a leader in the Army, corporate world, son, brother, or husband and eventual father - find power in those around you.
Lastly, never forget to tell people how much they mean to you. Your future will be filled with uncertainty, so express how you certainly feel with conviction. Your parents have sacrificed so much for you to pursue your dreams, let them know you appreciate them. The goodbyes will be hard, but the hellos make them worth it. Cherish who you are with now because time will soon become limited. Although you might be physically apart from those back home, you will grow together in ways never expected.
Younger me, the memories, and relationships you form here will give you life. You will spend 47 months counting down the days until graduation, yet, when it’s here, you will look back and wonder where the time has gone.
-Luke Doyle, West Point Class of 2023